YummyMummy

Friendly chat, questions, reviews, find old friends or relatives. Not limited to Sydenham only issues but keep it civil!
bensonby
Posts: 1656
Joined: 18 Jun 2008 12:28
Location: Kent

Post by bensonby »

natbeuk wrote:However, there are oddballs out there, and however remote the chances I would rather not take the risk that someone could take issue with me for any reason (eg religious beliefs), track me down, and harrass me (for example).
I had better get out of those bushes outside your home, that I've been sitting in with my telescopic camera, hadn't I?
natbeuk
Posts: 457
Joined: 26 Nov 2007 10:19
Location: Sydenham

Post by natbeuk »

bensonby wrote:
natbeuk wrote:However, there are oddballs out there, and however remote the chances I would rather not take the risk that someone could take issue with me for any reason (eg religious beliefs), track me down, and harrass me (for example).
I had better get out of those bushes outside your home, that I've been sitting in with my telescopic camera, hadn't I?
Oh no that's fine, I'm stalking you too.
lambchops
Posts: 770
Joined: 11 Jan 2008 10:57
Location: Your mum's

Post by lambchops »

Image

Jeez, how many accounts has this guy got to vote for himself?!
Greg Whitehead
Posts: 474
Joined: 11 Apr 2005 15:44
Location: SE26 5RL

Post by Greg Whitehead »

I disgaree. Whilst I agree that there are some oddballs out there there seems to be this irriational fear of the 'big bad internet'. People seem to be petrified when confronted with an internet forum and think that they need to be as covert as possible to protect themselves. At the same time they think nothing of throwing away a goldmine of information into their recycling bins. They pull out their cards without really knowing if the person swiping it is trustworthy. When the bank calls them they give over all the information they are asked to give with first ascertaining that it is actually their bank...the list is endless.

YET when they register it's like they're trying to pass the MI6 entrance exam...what was the street name I was born on, what number did Gladys live at, who was my favourite Liverpool player and what's my height?

crossletvale72kingkenny195...."THAT'LL FOOL EM! I'M SAFE AS HOUSES HERE!"

"Here we go! Right, a religious topic, enter 'f**k religion'. Race argument brewing on this thread? enter 'burn all white-trash!'. Girls night out thread? enter 'I'll come along love, give you somewhere to hang your coat!'."

Anonymity actually breeds problems.

I don't buy into it pure and simple. If you don't want someone to know where you live then here's a crazy idea. Don't post it. If you don't want someone to have a vendetta against you, here's another one. Don't get involved in topics that you would avoid in real life. Excercise the control you do in your normal life (or not as the case may be)! I don't subscribe to the 'because I'm female' argument either. If one takes care on an internet forum then it is safer than any of the examples posted above.

I cannot see how putting your real name is so dangerous. People just think that all of a sudden pin numbers and other sensitive information is just going to be sucked out of your PC!

It's madness. As previous it's just stupid and paranoid.

And by using 'you' I don't really mean YOU (if that makes sense). It's not a personal attack I just don't get these derisory random monikers.
natbeuk
Posts: 457
Joined: 26 Nov 2007 10:19
Location: Sydenham

Post by natbeuk »

Greg, a close of friend of mine was subject to harrassment that would've been avoided if she had been anonymous. It happens. I choose to play on the safe side even if it is over-cautious. I respect your decision to use your real name, please respect the decision of those of us who choose not to (provided we do not misuse the anonymity of course).
bensonby
Posts: 1656
Joined: 18 Jun 2008 12:28
Location: Kent

Post by bensonby »

what a strange thread....


I think the question is

"If you were to walk into a room full of strangers, say down the pub, and engage them all in conversation would you give your real name?"

The answer is probably yes.... so there should be no problem, logically, of doing so ono the internet.

However, the internet has traditions of anonymity. These stem from the ability to "reinvent" oneself, or to give people the feeling of freedom so they could say things that they normally wouldn't do in "real life". This is, of course, a double edged sword; on one hand people can be more candid and honest, on the other, it allows for trolling and for extremists to shout louder than everyone else. Hence we need moderation....even handed, fair and unpartisan. (which I think admin manages quite well here for example)

For those who use psuedonyms, but aren't controversial &c., they may still have valid reasons not to use their real name:

1. They may reinvent themselves through their username, they are able to play devils advocate or just be a different person for a while

2. Their job may prohibit them from posting on message boards, or it may make their job harder, or there job may provoke hostile reactions....think PERSEC. (ditto for family members)

3. some may be "paranoid" about being traced

4. Some might not be the typwe to "normally" walk into a pub of strangers and strike up a conversation (taking my 1st example) - so they find it more comfortable doing it from behind a "mask"

All have some level of validity.... Where I see usernames I don't really see deceit...
Greg Whitehead
Posts: 474
Joined: 11 Apr 2005 15:44
Location: SE26 5RL

Post by Greg Whitehead »

You know what? I think it best we agree to disagree on this one natbeuk.

I actually knew you would respond thusly about your female friend. Those millions of women using their work emails that clearly define their gender - they may aswell fill one chamber of a gun and press it to their head! It's like me saying I don't go to pubs anymore because one night a male friend got beaten up in one. I'm not trying to demean your friends experience but do you really think what happened to her would (possibly) not have occurred on a night-out. Oddballs are everywhere. Whilst they mainly work in I.T. the www is not their sole means of getting the 'job done'.

Anyway - I should adhere to what I wrote and agree to disagree and stop.
I do respect your anonymity even if your reasoning is rather tired and expected.

After all, as you correctly write, it doesn't really matter other than when people abuse the anonymity.

I will write no more on the matter, you have my word natbeuk.
natbeuk
Posts: 457
Joined: 26 Nov 2007 10:19
Location: Sydenham

Post by natbeuk »

Ah, but you still had to try to have the last word didn't you Greg! I asked you to simply respect my (and others') decision - ie agree to disagree - but still you had to reiterate why you disagreed with it! So I feel it's only fair that I have a chance to respond.

You say that you knew I would bring up a female friend's experience like that somehow justifies your argument. I'm female, she's female, she got into a nasty situation, and as a result I avoid putting myself into the situation she did. I would do that with any life lesson, not just with giving out details about myself online.

And yes, I do agree that what happened to my friend could happen on a night out. This is exactly why I don't give my name to strangers. Bensonby posed the question, and my answer is no, I don't give my name out at a pub or whatever.

My reasoning is tired and expected? So what? It is my reasoning, my decision, my justification, for making a decision that does not affect you negatively in any way whatsoever.
tiggs
Posts: 9
Joined: 20 Oct 2008 12:14
Location: Heading downhill

Post by tiggs »

I too have a female friend! She runs a forum, under her real name. And she has had some seriously nasty stuff written about her by some nutter. Put her name in a google search and pages of this stuff comes up. She was at her wits end as to what to do, especially in the light of many employers now doing internet searches on potential employees. I think the guys stopped adding fresh ones but all the old stuff is there. She has a google alert for her name so knows when anything new has been posted so I can't give her name - and wouldn't wish to. But this could have real problems for her in the future. Her name is quite unusual.

On a forum I contribute to a lot I use my real first name and the regulars know my full name. And I'm quite happy with that
Greg Whitehead
Posts: 474
Joined: 11 Apr 2005 15:44
Location: SE26 5RL

Post by Greg Whitehead »

I bet you just have to get the last word in in real life also natbeuk?

Well so do I. :D

This thread could go on for ever so you can (if you like) ping something back and you'll have had the last word.

Or not, if I've gotten you wrong :wink:

I concede and do honestly respect your request. It's just as a child I had to even get something shouted downstairs as I slammed the door and ran up to my room.

Sorry natbeuk - the floor is yours should you wish to have the final sign-off.

I promise.
Thomas
Posts: 632
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 13:08
Location: Upper Sydenham

Post by Thomas »

Can I get a word in too?

The reasoning, such as it is, behind the choice of my username was to provide a degree of anonymity (I doubt I'd get a stalker but I would not want all my posts to come up if anyone ever searched my name, and I would not my views to be associated with my employers and for my employers to know that I would post in work hours) whilst using part of my real name, so that it is not entirely artificial.

Because I have attended a few STF social events, there are a few people out there who know who I am and what I look like, and I have also met several other posters. I prefer this to the larger websites with many different users from across the country, or indeed the world, where you'd never get the chance to meet other posters.

If you use the same username on different websites it is possible to track a person from one site to another, which could contain more information than you would include on this site. In fact (as I mentioned in an earlier post) I came across one of Bensonby's posts by accident the other week (and no it wasn't anything dirty).

Loved Lambchops mock-up photo of Greg! I think the question we should be asking is whether Lambchops is a genius or a madman?!
Jessie
Posts: 59
Joined: 18 Mar 2008 16:45
Location: Sydenham

Post by Jessie »

[quote="Greg Whitehead"]irriational fear of the 'big bad internet'. People seem to be petrified when confronted with an internet forum and think that they need to be as covert as possible to protect themselves.

Yes but i bet half these people are on Facebook, Myspace, bebo or some kind of social networking page.
Jess
Greg Whitehead
Posts: 474
Joined: 11 Apr 2005 15:44
Location: SE26 5RL

Post by Greg Whitehead »

Thomas wrote:
Loved Lambchops mock-up photo of Greg! I think the question we should be asking is whether Lambchops is a genius or a madman?!
For the very reason he gave me a generous 9.3 I'm answering genius!

I'm meeting him tomorrow night so I'll let you know if my opinion changes after the event Thomas. :wink:
lambchops
Posts: 770
Joined: 11 Jan 2008 10:57
Location: Your mum's

Post by lambchops »

all this debate, and we still havn't seen a pic of yummymummy posing in some mail order anne summers gear.

admin, can you please lock this thread until we do?

thanks.
ALIB
Posts: 1553
Joined: 12 Oct 2006 21:34
Location: East Sussex

Post by ALIB »

Edited. Sorry, I thought this was the pub.........

Ali B
yummymummy
Posts: 58
Joined: 29 Oct 2007 15:55
Location: Sydenham

Post by yummymummy »

You will be waiting a long time.......................................... I will be keeping my appearance to myself! esp after all this! lol :lol:
lambchops
Posts: 770
Joined: 11 Jan 2008 10:57
Location: Your mum's

Post by lambchops »

awwwwwww.
sydenhamboy
Posts: 264
Joined: 8 Oct 2006 10:33
Location: sydenham

Post by sydenhamboy »

... and rest ...
anonymous coward
Posts: 1
Joined: 24 Oct 2008 22:18
Location: sydenham

Post by anonymous coward »

Greg Whitehead wrote:
Ultimately I think this belief that people should not post their real name is actually quite stupid. If you're called John Smith why call yourself SydHillWarrior56 or some other crass moniker.

Gregory
Couldn't agree more Greg. Lets have a bit of honest in this department.
nork1
Posts: 287
Joined: 9 Jul 2006 12:49
Location: Banned myself - can't be bothered with the Greg/Ulysses show anymore

Post by nork1 »

anonymous coward wrote:
Greg Whitehead wrote:
Ultimately I think this belief that people should not post their real name is actually quite stupid. If you're called John Smith why call yourself SydHillWarrior56 or some other crass moniker.

Gregory
Couldn't agree more Greg. Lets have a bit of honest in this department.
THIS is truly disturbing behaviour.
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